Thursday March 24, 2022
I picked up Eli from the airport in the early afternoon, a large smile and huge backpack over his shoulders. I saw him in the arrivals line giddily awaiting our great adventure. I caught up with Eli, and we briefly listened to an audiobook of The Crossing, before Eli fell asleep from a late night. We arrived in Edwards, Colorado for lunch and the procurement of whisky. After we ate I ran into the liquor store and bought a pint of Jim Beam to bring with us on our two nights of backpacking in Moab that we had been looking forward to for months.
I had done the majority of the research for the trip, researching routes booking permits and meticulously planning what gear would be necessary for the adventure Eli and I intended to have in Utah. When we first decided on backpacking Moab in February, I hoped to backpack in the Needles district of Moab, the premier backpacking location close to Moab with beautiful well documented backpacking trails, campsites and arches. However, when I looked into permits they were all booked for our trip which was coming up in two months, the other options for backpacking in Canyonlands was either Island in the Sky or The Maze, the maze had a reputation of being very hot and barron, so Island in the Sky was the obvious choice. Excited to see that not a single reservation was booked for the week of March 24th in the Island in the Sky zone I found a 3-day route from the Lathrop trailhead and booked the permits. The next morning, I had an email in my inbox from the national park service inquiring about the permit I reserved, they informed me that the permit I booked was impossible with current regulations surrounding camping near an all-terrain road and suggested we look into alternative routes. I responded with our interest in camping in gooseberry canyon and asked for and recommendations. The response from the NPS was as follows.
Hi Leo, You can find information about the cross-country Gooseberry route with GPS waypoints published online here: www.backpacker.com/trips/canyonlands-national-park-gooseberry-dogleg-loop/ Camping above the White Rim 4WD road between there and the mesa top is not allowed with any permit. Sara
I investigated the link Sara had sent and read a few blog posts about the “Gooseberry-Dogleg loop” and it seemed perfect. I thanked Sara and modified our permits at 2am on February 22. I texted Eli about the details of the trip, the summary was 3 days 2 nights, 20 miles, 5000 feet of elevation, almost entirely off trail with one water fill up at the Colorado river after the first night, Eli was in.
When we arrived in Moab we found an easy campsite by the river that we would spend the night at and lay out all of our gear to make sure we were prepared for the backpacking ahead. We split up food, checked our SOS device, and made sure we had our water purification procedure locked in. The Colorado can get very silty so our plan was to let 2 gallons of water sit in our newly purchased water cube overnight while we slept and then we would pump and purify the water on our second day. Once we had our geared squared away we drank beers, ate hot dogs and filled each of our flasks feeling good about being fully prepared for whatever was to come.
We woke early and drove to downtown Moab to pick up our permits from the NPS office right when they opened at 8:00am. We got breakfast in Moab and texted our loved ones that we would be gone for a couple days without service.
Our spirits were high when we pulled up to the ranger booth at Island in the Sky to pay our dues for park entrance. The young park ranger asked us, “Just day visitors?” I responded, “nope backpacking”. A look of surprise in her eye she asked, where we were headed. I told her “gooseberry-dogleg loop”. She turned to a fellow ranger in the booth and with a light punch said “hey, these guys are doing gooseberry-dogleg” with a tone of surprise and confusion. Eli and I laughed, accepted our receipt and headed into the park joking about her shock that we were backpacking gooseberry-dogleg. We parked at the trailhead, put on sunblock and took one last photo by the car.
When we set off on the gooseberry trail we were immediately confronted by a 1500 foot descent from trailhead to the white rim road below, the trail was sharp switchbacks with lots of exposure and only a few day hikers to be seen. By the time we got to the bottom our legs were shaking from the steep descent with 40lbs packs. Our spirits were high and we were feeling like we could conquer anything. We sat at the base of the gooseberry trail eating cucumbers in a fantastic mood ready for what lay ahead.
We briefly stopped to study the map knowing that the entire remaining section of our trip would be off trail until we reached this point on the return trip. The route appeared simple: stay on top of the mesa following the edge of the canyon for 3 cut outs in the mesa then descend deep down the canyon, follow the riverbed, and reach the Colorado. We followed the mesa until our entry point in the canyon was clear, a narrow descending shelf cut out of the white rock. We stopped here for water and lunch and a double check of our map before we descended into the canyon below.
After lunch the real hiking began. The first drop into the canyon was two descending ledges parallel to each other separated by maybe 5 feet vertically. I went first hugging the first ledge, a narrow one foot edge of white rock. Then dropped down onto the second ledge made up of 8 feet of loose scree, awaiting Eli’s descent of the first ledge I stood on the second ledge. Eli was a little over halfway down when he turned towards me to comment on something, forgetting about the pack on his back it bumped against the rock wall and knocked him off balance on the narrow ledge, luckily, I was waiting below I grabbed him with both arms and pulled him down to the larger screen ledge that I was standing on. I asked Eli if he was alright and he said he was, so we continued but we were both thinking about how easily Eli could have tumbled off the screen ledge and down the thousands of feet of canyon below. We had suddenly lost our joyful mood and were incredibly aware of what a precarious position we were in. The remaining 2000 feet of descent of the canyon were a blur, we were in an incredibly serious mood following the GPS coordinates as closely as we could and navigating loose rock with thousands of feet of exposure to our right the entire descent. With only one notable stopping point where we considered if we should turn around. We decided that we felt just as bad backtracking what we had already done than continuing into the unknown, so we continued.
When we reached the riverbed at the bottom of the canyon I had an immeasurable mix of emotions, I felt both great relief that we had reached the bottom and dread of what was to come the remaining two days. I solemnly asked Eli who he was thinking of on our dangerous descent and he told me he was thinking about his Mom. I confided that I was thinking about Nadia and how guilty I would have felt if I had fallen to my death in the middle of the Utah canyonlands.
We continued down the riverbed, it was easy hiking in the sand and our mood improved. I was feeling more optimistic than Eli and found myself cracking jokes about our descent and trying to pull his mood up and find some enjoyment from our trip, even after such a daring descent. Eventually our moods were higher and we hiked in silence Eli maybe 50 feet in front of me down the easy winding river bed at the bottom of the canyon. Thousands of feet of cliffs shooting above us on either side of the dry riverbed.
I see a small drop off in the path ahead and hear Eli exclaim “fuck”. Trying to keep Elis mood high I say “I’m sure it’s fine, what is it” Eli responds with another simple “Fuck.” I shut up, catch up to Eli and stare down a 40-50- foot wash out in the riverbed, an insurmountable cliff. A monumental low point in the trip we stand surveying the obstacle realizing any way down will include a 100% lockout of turning around from here on out.
We studied our surroundings backtracked a couple hundred yards, hugged a ledge on the left side of the canyon and descended a narrow crack before returning to the riverbed below with a new dread and uneasiness about a lack of options to turn around if the route ahead got too hard. I had a sinking feeling in my gut looking up at the thousands of feet of canyon wall in every direction. Totally off trail. 8 or more hours from people in any direction. I knew that if anything went wrong the only way out of gooseberry canyon was the SOS device tucked away in my pack and turning around was no longer an option.
When we arrived at the Colorado river it should have been a moment of triumph, we were at the lowest elevation of our trip, we found water and had arrived at our camp for the night, however Eli and I were both in quite depressive moods.
I filled our water cube with silty Colorado river water and we trudged the half mile back up the riverbed to where we had decided to camp. Eli offered to carry the cube and I walked behind him sulking in the late afternoon sun. “Eli, is that water cube leaking?” I asked. “No, it’s probably just wet, we just bought it,” He said. I didn’t respond but we both watched as every step a new drop of water would drip onto the dry sand as we walked back to camp. Eli set the water cube down and a circle of wet sand formed around it. This was truly defeating, we realized we would have to drink the silty water and could not afford to let it leak out all night, so we had to treat it now. I spent over an hour pumping the water from the water cube into our dromedary’s through a basic pump filter and Eli started setting up the tent as I was tasked with treating our water. Eli handed me the drops he had purchased from REI and set off on the tent, as I read the package I asked him if he had read the label, “no what does it say” he asked. I told him the words on the label said “eliminates odor causing bacteria and makes potable water taste better” and nothing about purifying water. “Shit, really” Eli said, defeated and knowing it was our only option I prayed the filter had killed any dangerous bacteria and added the drops anyways.
At this point Eli the dynamic had swapped from the riverbed and Eli was the one trying to pull me together. I sat on the sand sipping my water bottle feeling totally defeated and Eli said that it will be alright, and I should go start on dinner. Not hungry at all but wanting to pull my share while Eli made and readied the tent I took the cooking supplies and ventured to a nearby rock surrounded by snake holes. I sat on the rock boiling water for mac and cheese with summer sausage reflecting on how far we actually were from any other human life and how bad tomorrow's route could be. When the macaroni was cooked Eli had come over and was watching me cut the sausage into the pot, he gently put his hand on my shoulder and told me, “hey, don’t add too much summer sausage”, I thought it wasn’t enough but stopped anyway. Once I started eating my opinion changed on this matter, my stomach was so full of anxiety that it was almost impossible to force food down without dry heaving. The worst of the bites to force down was the salty summer sausage and I was eternally grateful for Eli’s wisdom of not adding too much.
After dinner we got into Eli’s compact one and a half person tent with all of our gear sandwiched between us so tightly that we barely had room to roll over. I took this opportunity to write a note to Nadia that I planned on never sharing with her. a redacted version of the note is below.
I didn’t sleep a lick of the night, instead I spent it either mulling over nightmare scenarios for tomorrow or anxiously attempting to talk about anything but our current situation with Eli who seemed to experience a similar lack of sleep. When the sun came up we came out with it.
Eli packed the tent while I prepared and subsequently forced down PB&J tortillas, our second and only other meal of the entire trip. Once we packed we ventured onwards in a hurry in the direction of dogleg canyon in a rush to get to a place where we felt safe and could enjoy ourselves again. We hiked fast and hard through the sand up the wide riverbed of dogleg canyon, when we reached the dogleg in the canyon the terrain got steep. It was hard going 2000 feet of elevation up through the boulder fields that had filled the last mile of the canyon. But We hiked hard and made it to the final ascent out of dogleg.
I kept reminding Eli, but wasn’t sure if it was more for him or myself, that we need to be precise with our feet even when we're tired because the last 200 feet or so out of the canyon were on steep loose shale. We were slow and steady. I was careful not to turn around and see the steep, high terrain we were ascending. In a moment of pure joy and elation we reached the top of dogleg canyon finally on level ground with the white rim road again populated with Jeeps and a feeling of safety washed over us. We had done it, made it out of the dangers of gooseberry dogleg canyon. In minutes my anxiety that had been building for two days had lifted. I could eat again. We hugged, and paced the edge of the cliff in a moment of true relief. The camping on the mesa was poor. It was only 1pm and we had made such a good time that we decided we should go all the way and hike back to the car.
We listened to Dylan on Eli’s phone and hiked the white rim road back to the gooseberry trailhead. The first people we saw were dirt bikers who asked us how long we had been backpacking for and even though it was only one night I told them “enough”. We had a good laugh about that.
We reached the bottom of the gooseberry trailhead and began to climb the final 1500 feet of elevation to our car this time entirely on trial. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done Eli ahead of me. I begged him to stop every couple hundred feet and kept telling myself to focus on my feet. When we made it to the car we were in the best mood of the day, we asked some hikers to snap a pic of us, took the cold Gatorades from the cooler in my trunk and started driving back to Moab with the windows down, blasting music feeling euphoric.
We stopped in Moab for some nachos, but mostly to use the restaurant's bathroom to clean ourselves and sit in the AC while we texted our family’s and planned our next move. We decided to camp in Moab by the river where we camped the first night, but when we drove up and all the spots were full our only option was to embark on the 6 hour drive back to Boulder at 4:00pm after the longest day of our lives. Eli drove first, I took us home the last 3 hours in the dark from 10:00pm to 1:00am with my body aching from the hiking. When we arrived at my apartment in Boulder we knew we had finally made it and survived a trip that was totally over both of our heads. We showered and for the first time all trip took sips from our flasks to celebrate.
