Every year, The Austin Chronicle publishes their Best of Austin reader’s poll and critics list. It’s a time honored tradition going back to 1990, one we look forward to every year at Glyptodon. We care so deeply about this compilation of our city’s best offerings that we’re launching a new tradition: The Best of Best of Austin. In here you will find superlatives, awards and commentary courtesy of Glyptodon contributors. All the hits, misses, snubs and surprises of this year’s list distilled down into a few dozen delicious bites. Enjoy!
Biggest Snub:
Listen, we love KUT.org. Founder Leo Sipowicz listens every morning and Editor Henry Long has friends who lead departments here. But we would be clearly remiss to not mention Glyptodon News was snubbed for best “Online Media Outlet.” There’s always next year!
Furthest from Austin:
James Greenhaw seems like a very nice person. But the Pflugerville weather guy winning Best Weatherperson?! This is suburbia propaganda.
Soggiest, Driest, Flattest Pizza: Loudmouth wins “Best New Restaurant”
You put a pizza restaurant in a dilapidated mansion and call it the best new restaurant. I will not be falling for the dimly lit, fake exposed brick propaganda anytime soon And as a certified caesar salad connoisseur, it’s the worst one I have ever had.
Most Deserved: Bryce Gilmore - Best Chef
Everything good you’ve heard about his restaurants (Odd Duck, Sour Duck & Barley Swine) is true. These fine establishments are foundational to the food scene. But one thing you might not know about Bryce Gilmore: he autographed a Sour Duck Almanac for one of our founders and did so with a certain agrarian charm.
Most surprising category (Best Asian-Cajun Fusion Paradise):
Rumor has it KAsian Garden in San Marcos was gunning for this award, but was disqualified due to zip code and “paradise” status concerns.
Most Likely to be Closed Next Year: Wanderlust Wine Co.
Following in the tradition of Outer Heaven Dance Club, one of these winners probably won’t be here next year. For my money, it’s Wanderlust Wine Co. I’ve never had a bad time at Wanderlust, that’s mostly because I’ve always had the place to myself. If their recent vinyl banner advertising new Matcha is any hint, this place is desperate for foot traffic.
I-Could-Never-Do-That Award:
Ismael Quintanilla III’s photography portfolio is astounding. After looking at his work, Kate, a professional photographer, said “I could never do that.” Make sure the UT sorority girls, Kate’s main clientele, don’t find out.
No, actually I think that's right: Terry Black’s wins “Best BBQ”
Feeling incredulous that Franklins, Micklethwait, or KG didn't win this category? I agree. On paper, other spots might have better bbq pound for pound. But consider that there’s so much smoked meat in this city and it’s all really good. So good in fact even the biggest bbq nerds can barely tell it apart. So what really stands out about Terry Blacks is consistently sub 30 minute lines, seating when you get your food, and never being sold out. It adds up to a crowd pleasing experience that delights Austin visitors and pleases the masses in a way smaller operations just can’t do.
Yes, actually I think that's wrong: Ace Custom Tailors “Tailor/Alterations”
Proudly stated on their website “Ace Custom Tailors has been named Best Alterations by Austin Chronicle readers every year since 1998.” That's great, and I’m sure their alterations are high quality but it’s high time Ace shares their best-alterations-baton with another member of the community. I think this award should have gone to Golden Slipper Modern Boot Repair On 1st and Mary. Abel is an incredible craftsman, works out of a somehow AC free shop all summer long and is fair and generous with his work. Seeing someone that’s so dialed in their craft is a rare treat. I would love to see this award go to one of the smaller alterations operations Austin is lucky to have.
Most Likely to take my Real ID, bend it in half and tell me to get the f*** out — Deep Eddy Cabaret wins “Best Dive Bar”
Deep Eddy Cabaret won “Best Dive Bar” from Austin Chronicle readers this year. With cheap beer, a good crowd and charm to spare Deep Eddy deserves this, but they also deserve to be recognized for that time the bartender kicked me out for appearing 19. I’m flattered really.
Most Obvious Swap — Pease Park wins “Best Playground” and Meanwhile wins “Best Brewery”
I am starting to think Meanwhile is actually built primarily for kids and the brewery is an afterthought to entertain the parents. The beers are good there, but Pease Park is an underrated beer drinking spot! As long as your beers don't leave the concrete tables you can drink to your hearts desire. So drop the kids off at Meanwhile and enjoy your cold ones at Pease instead.
Biggest Oversight (L’s turn to W’s):
Chronicle critics gave the “Best Proof L's Can Become W's” award to the UT Women’s Softball Team. Congrats to those bat bashing longhorns but this fun category ignores some real turnarounds from this year. Back in 2017, the city of Austin lost trying to rewrite their zoning code, but, in the recent past, we’ve had huge wins thanks to the HOME bill. HOME is helping make Austin more affordable for future generations. Now that’s an L turned into a W.
Most obvious ad:
Càphê.in Coffee won the award for “Best Reason to Line Up for Your Caffeine Fix,” and sure you might see a line there around 9 A.M. but it pales in comparison to the steady stream of caffeine addicts that line up for Desnudo all day long. In fact, this category is so aptly named for Desnudo that I have to believe Càphê.in Coffee cut the check. Hey local coffee shops: Glyptodon gives out awards too and our wallets are wanting!
Most effective ad: Leonard’s Welcome Aboard
I usually don’t have much of an appetite for speakeasy’s. That changed when I saw The Chronicle’s award for “Best Seafaring Speakeasy.” Everything about Leonard’s Welcome Aboard looks awesome. A charismatic frontman, a charming eastside neighborhood and a committed theme? That’s a cult I’d like to join.
Biggest Pat on the Back: Austin Chronicle wins “Best Print Publication”
Without the Austin Chronicle, I doubt this site would exist and we certainly wouldn’t be publishing this article. It’s a great paper that feels uniquely Austin, and I hope one day Glyptodon News will inspire the feeling I get when reading the Chronicle. Now I would like to take this time to give another award, “Most Handsome Editor.” The winner is… me!
Most Controversial: Thundercloud Subs
Austinite’s are too casual to have neighborhood conflict…but when it comes to sandwiches, no beef is off the table. The debate between the Southern Home Slice and NOrthern Food Heads is a tale as old as time. But the one thing that unites us all? Sandwiches that are just slightly better than Subway. While the sandwich quality does not compare to its competitors, Thundercloud Subs unites Austinites (and Pflugerheads) from William Cannon to Burnet, and we think that is beautiful. Thank you Thundercloud for Keeping Austin Beefed.
Biggest Miss: Ego’s for “Best Karaoke”
Something I like to do at a karaoke bar— sing karaoke. A simple request one might assume, but if you put your name down at Ego’s you’ll be lucky to get through Wonderwall before last call. Call up Austin Karaoke and book a booth like a real man instead.
Too Broke to Enjoy Award:
The winner of Best Recent College Grad Watchdogging Texas Colleges, Lilly Kepner covers higher education at the Austin-American Statesman. I’m sure Kepner is incredibly talented. However, I am too broke to own an Austin-American Statesman subscription. Keep up the good work Lilly, I’ll get through that paywall someday.
Private-Equity Dressed in a Thrift Stores Clothing Award:
If you want over-priced, poorly curated, re-sold pieces of trash in an oversized, overwhelming building, look no further than Uptown Cheapskate! The winner of “Best Vintage/Consignment” highlights our city does not value the art of style curation or local fashionistas. Uptown Cheapskate sells anything and everything in an overly fluorescent lit warehouse owned by two former private-equity bozos with Harvard MBAs. Get the MBAs out of thrifting: second-hand deserves integrity. Pavement does everything right that Uptown Cheapskate does wrong anyways.
You Cannot Argue With That Award:
Room Service Vintage, winner of “Best Furniture/Home Goods,” holds everything you could ever want. As a certified critic, I can’t find anything bad about this place. Fairly-priced, ethically sourced, and precisely chaotic vibes, Room Service is an all-timer of the Best of Austin with 27 accolades over the years.