Town Lake Tatler
Austin, TX - Govalle
Forty-nine percent of Americans have a fear of parallel parking. More than heights, spiders and clowns. This did not stop Sage, a studio & gallery for artists with disabilities, from arranging Austin’s first parallel parking competition at Canopy in East Austin.
Gathered in a Govalle gravel lot; there are four traffic cones arranged bound by caution tape forming the bumpers and curb. An overcast sky hangs over an artist's heaven: run down warehouses and abandoned buses on the east side.
There is nothing on the line except pride, bragging rights and potential humiliation. Every attempt, no matter how fast or well positioned, is subject to notes from the crowd. Either watching from the balcony of Sa-Tén or a lawn chair in the gravel, we are all critics.
There is a drive thru style queue backing up into the parking lot. Everyone gets a rundown of the instructions. Line up your car, park it between the caution tape as fast as you can while staying as close as possible to the “curb.”
If you hit a cone, you’re done. Caution tape is fair game. They ask for your name, insurance, make, model and year of production (?) before taking a measurement of the car's length. Then they place a sticky note on the backup camera and you’re off.
A nuclear family in a jet black Audi whips in the tape in just eleven seconds and the driver pops out to examine his curb distance. 27 inches. Two people in a Land Cruiser jockey for control over the wheel while shouting instructions and expletives, but still finish in less than 40 seconds.
They are followed by Sage’s studio facilitator, Rosie, in a white Honda CRV. It is unclear if she has attempted this maneuver since Driver’s Ed. She wiggles the car into the spot. Then wiggles again. Then wiggles some more. Endlessly cutting the wheel and retracing her steps.
Flustered by the cones and jeers from the crowd. She pokes her head out of the window and pleads “am I in the tape?” But the head volunteer Maile Carballo runs a tight ship.
“No,” she replies.
Inside a 2015 Mazda MDX, Maxwell Grove is playing it cool. He stopped here for coffee, saw the pandemonium and decided to support the cause. A $5 suggested donation from each participant goes straight to Sage; supporting contemporary artists with intellectual and developmental disabilities. He patiently backs the car up in just 31 seconds. He’s quiet during the attempt, but he isn’t nervous.
”My Mom is in town. She said no matter how bad I do, she will still clap for me,” he says.